I have been very lax. I've not been here for a while. Where to begin??
I got overwhelmed in November, compiled all the "Complicated Lives" and released them in a kindle book. A lot of emotion led up to that, then I felt free and open. I think the word may be empowered.
After that I decided to do some emotional housekeeping. I cut ties with some people, other people I've just gone off the radar. I'm sorry to say I've not been a good friend at all to some very important people. I hope they know that I care for them deeply, but I've just been in a weird spot mentally.
I got sick of all the negative energy and drama surrounding my son at the local high school. We talked it over and decided a move to a public charter school was the best decision for all of us. It's almost like we have our eager to learn toddler back once more. He can explore paths, work at his own pace, set his own goals and have freedom. This school operates more like life in the real working world. Projects, deadlines, work at your own pace, set goals....etc. The transformation has been amazing.
Stress and pressure from the new pay schedule where my husband works has me frazzled. We refinanced our mortgage. I'm typing up a searchable document for our HOA to make things easier for people to seek and find answers to common questions.
For those who know about my health issues, I'm doing better! I am still quite lazy some days, I still have insomnia, pain...etc. The good things are, I have more stamina, I am walking much better, my fine motor skills are coming along and typing is getting better. I still can't type for very long, but I am doing a better job touch typing.
I've found a great and simple bread recipe. I have messed with the flour and created a nice rye with caraway from the same recipe. I do it all in the kitchenaid. Kneading is and never was my strong point.
I will catch you up on white trash moments in the next post.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Friday, February 7, 2014
Winter
The cold weather, a fire, my family. What could be nicer? The house is dusty, the carpet is stained, our cat has scratched the furniture and climbs it regularly. It doesn't sound wonderful does it? It is somehow perfect in every way. What we have tells part of the story of who we are as a family and members of the human race. Our possessions say that we are low-key, not perfect, relaxed and that we tend to enjoy each other. I say this because our son's friends come over, sit on the sofa, walk around with drinks, open the fridge and the cabinets to find food (teenage boys) then flop with us or in the gameroom to eat, hang out and watch tv together. Nothing invites people to stay more than a welcoming atmosphere filled with warmth, food, love and the promise of fun. Sometimes I think I could stay in winter forever because it is the time to be still....or the time for the guys to go sledding.
I look back in these close quarters times to my memories of winter as a child. I have always loved winter. Winter meant maybe a snowflake or two. Wearing sweatshirts and sweaters, scarves, jackets and gloves. Then as a teen in the North it was surviving the cold contests with friends. It's a special time for me because of the holidays, the new year, the need to spend time together because of the weather. I love the idea that rebirth is just around the corner. Winter is the time to be still and see where life is going.
I lived part of my life in the South and part of my life up North. I do prefer the weather up North. I love the snow, the cold, the ice, the frozen world. All of winter makes me want to stay in a moment forever; I want these moments to last forever. I know that they won't stay. I hope my son is building memories of closeness, of the chill, of the snow and ice. I want him to remember more than just the few inconveniences. I want him to really enjoy each season and all the good things the seasons bring. Selfishly I do hope my two favorite seasons are his two favorites also, Fall and Winter.
My favorite winter memories as a child were of spending time with loved ones, hoping for some snow, I still remember making my last snowman in KY before moving to FL, in FL I missed the snow so much, I remember frost on the ground, our door freezing closed, how giddy I was that I had to miss school because of the iced door. Puffy jackets (it was the 80's) boots, heavy jeans and sweaters. As a teen up North I loved trekking through a park with snow all around, felling naughty as we had ice cream in the winter, gamely thinking that I would try skiing at least once, watching the snowfall like it was a miracle and loving even the bitter cold when my nostrils would freeze shut. Now I love all those things and a cup of cocoa with some coconut rum in it on occasion. I still feel like snow is magical and love to watch it fall.
I am one of those sick individuals that your parents warned you about, I am twisted and absolutely not normal because I LOVE WINTER!! :)
I look back in these close quarters times to my memories of winter as a child. I have always loved winter. Winter meant maybe a snowflake or two. Wearing sweatshirts and sweaters, scarves, jackets and gloves. Then as a teen in the North it was surviving the cold contests with friends. It's a special time for me because of the holidays, the new year, the need to spend time together because of the weather. I love the idea that rebirth is just around the corner. Winter is the time to be still and see where life is going.
I lived part of my life in the South and part of my life up North. I do prefer the weather up North. I love the snow, the cold, the ice, the frozen world. All of winter makes me want to stay in a moment forever; I want these moments to last forever. I know that they won't stay. I hope my son is building memories of closeness, of the chill, of the snow and ice. I want him to remember more than just the few inconveniences. I want him to really enjoy each season and all the good things the seasons bring. Selfishly I do hope my two favorite seasons are his two favorites also, Fall and Winter.
My favorite winter memories as a child were of spending time with loved ones, hoping for some snow, I still remember making my last snowman in KY before moving to FL, in FL I missed the snow so much, I remember frost on the ground, our door freezing closed, how giddy I was that I had to miss school because of the iced door. Puffy jackets (it was the 80's) boots, heavy jeans and sweaters. As a teen up North I loved trekking through a park with snow all around, felling naughty as we had ice cream in the winter, gamely thinking that I would try skiing at least once, watching the snowfall like it was a miracle and loving even the bitter cold when my nostrils would freeze shut. Now I love all those things and a cup of cocoa with some coconut rum in it on occasion. I still feel like snow is magical and love to watch it fall.
I am one of those sick individuals that your parents warned you about, I am twisted and absolutely not normal because I LOVE WINTER!! :)
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Were you raised by wolves?
This has always seemed to mean something derogatory. I recently found out that wolves are in fact excellent parents. If someone asks if you were raised by wolves it could be reasonable and non-derogatory to answer..."no my parents weren't nearly that good"
I was recently wondering if one of my son's friend's was raised by wolves because he seems to have lost any moral compass. When I looked up the question about wolves out of sheer curiosity I realized that I am no where near as good as a wolf mom! I have no idea what animal parent I'd be like...one that nags a lot. What ever that kind of parent is...I'm the naggy one.
Fortunately for me, my son still talks to me about most things. Sure he lies a bit, as most teenagers do. He was NOT raised by wolves because we are annoying and nag him. But at least we aren't raising a douche bag. My son's ex-friend has turned into the discount store brand of douche's. He pulled a trick so low down, ugly and dirty I would probably spank my son until next week (even though it would have little effect on him aside from giving him a sore behind and making him angry). Part of me is debating outing the kid for being a dirt bag, the other part is just rejoicing that despite my lack of wolf parenting skills I raised a better son than that! Here's the deal...
Kid had no friends in 6th grade. My son (anxiety king) was his only friend from 6th until near the end of 8th grade when dirt bag's parents started getting divorced. I genuinely liked the kid up until he started throwing my son under the bus, scamming my son's friends, then painting my son in a bad light. Things were fine, they went their own way, friendships don't always last. No big deal, until last week. Last week, this dirt bag started texting one of my son's female friends. They've been friends for some time. Dirt bag told her not to talk to my son because my son is a "bad kid" WTH?! I took this kid home when is Mother and Grandmother were too busy "living life" to recall they needed to bring him home from practice. Ok...jerk, find another friend to take you home, one of the many kids who only pretend to like you because they say jump and the dirt bag says "how high". No problem...life goes on. Then I found out the basic premise behind the texts. This dirt bag was texting a girl, pretending to be suicidal to play on her sympathies in order to get a girlfriend! There was a suicide at the school earlier this year. The boy who died was friends with this girl.
How low is that? Have I lost touch with being a teenager so much that this seems deplorable to me? Is this an accepted practice now? I would be so ashamed and angry if I found out my son were playing people like this. I am torn between letting this whole thing go....or contacting the Mother. If her darling dearest is suicidal she should know and perhaps wake the heck up, maybe re order her priorities? On the other hand if the low life isn't suicidal and is just pretending, the he truly needs a moral compass installed in the worst way.
I'm no wolf, but I think I'm better than a harp seal!
I was recently wondering if one of my son's friend's was raised by wolves because he seems to have lost any moral compass. When I looked up the question about wolves out of sheer curiosity I realized that I am no where near as good as a wolf mom! I have no idea what animal parent I'd be like...one that nags a lot. What ever that kind of parent is...I'm the naggy one.
Fortunately for me, my son still talks to me about most things. Sure he lies a bit, as most teenagers do. He was NOT raised by wolves because we are annoying and nag him. But at least we aren't raising a douche bag. My son's ex-friend has turned into the discount store brand of douche's. He pulled a trick so low down, ugly and dirty I would probably spank my son until next week (even though it would have little effect on him aside from giving him a sore behind and making him angry). Part of me is debating outing the kid for being a dirt bag, the other part is just rejoicing that despite my lack of wolf parenting skills I raised a better son than that! Here's the deal...
Kid had no friends in 6th grade. My son (anxiety king) was his only friend from 6th until near the end of 8th grade when dirt bag's parents started getting divorced. I genuinely liked the kid up until he started throwing my son under the bus, scamming my son's friends, then painting my son in a bad light. Things were fine, they went their own way, friendships don't always last. No big deal, until last week. Last week, this dirt bag started texting one of my son's female friends. They've been friends for some time. Dirt bag told her not to talk to my son because my son is a "bad kid" WTH?! I took this kid home when is Mother and Grandmother were too busy "living life" to recall they needed to bring him home from practice. Ok...jerk, find another friend to take you home, one of the many kids who only pretend to like you because they say jump and the dirt bag says "how high". No problem...life goes on. Then I found out the basic premise behind the texts. This dirt bag was texting a girl, pretending to be suicidal to play on her sympathies in order to get a girlfriend! There was a suicide at the school earlier this year. The boy who died was friends with this girl.
How low is that? Have I lost touch with being a teenager so much that this seems deplorable to me? Is this an accepted practice now? I would be so ashamed and angry if I found out my son were playing people like this. I am torn between letting this whole thing go....or contacting the Mother. If her darling dearest is suicidal she should know and perhaps wake the heck up, maybe re order her priorities? On the other hand if the low life isn't suicidal and is just pretending, the he truly needs a moral compass installed in the worst way.
I'm no wolf, but I think I'm better than a harp seal!
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
I can not win
There is no winner when it comes to parenting at all, I am convinced. There were no winners when he was having toddler tantrums there were no winners with tween tantrums and there are certainly no winners with teen tantrums.
I think I may have to have a Mommy tantrum soon....or another one. I don't know if any of us ever truly outgrow tantrums. I don't think it may be very healthy to outgrow them. It sometimes feels good to have a hissy fit, tantrum, fit, go nuts, let it out, let down, blow off steam. The way we go about it changes over the years but the effect is still the same, we feel a sweet release when we let the emotional pressure out. Some people don't even know the pressure is building until they blow off some steam, other people feel it building and start venting earlier. I think when you bottle up and deny those feelings of anger or frustration that you head for trouble.
I have no idea how some people stay so calm and detached from their emotions. I'm not sure how people aren't angered by outrages they see or injustices they witness. I'm not sure how people can ignore lying, cheating, backstabbing or manipulative people they know but can't get away from.
Lately my life seems like a powder keg, one spark and things will blow. I'm trying to vent the pressure by tackling the things that I can, as they arise. I feel so powerless and weak in the face of my growing son. I want to be the "right" mother, do the "right" thing, say the "right" thing...mostly, I just want a crystal ball to see what I should do. It would be kind of nice if life were like a choose-your-own-adventure book. It would be great to kind of peek ahead a few pages to see if the outcome were sunny or gloom-filled then choose to head that way or not.
Teenagers are right there in that middle ground where so much can go so wrong or so much can go so right. I think most parents want their kids to have as much fun as they can, enjoy life, learn enough to head off to college and then into a good life. So few teenagers really seem to be doing that at all. It's tough knowing how to parent so any of it works out.
I used to think life was so hard when he was young, now I look back and think..."give me juice boxes and Sesame Street any day!" I worried about choosing the right things then, now I'm a basket case. I was never fully stable to begin with I don't think. I wonder if I just need to chalk it all up to life and hope for the best? There doesn't seem to be much choice when tempers flare and teenager heels dig in against parents.
I really don't think that any of us will win this whole teenager parent thing, but I do know that the teens end and adulthood comes far too fast. I think I should just try to enjoy each day and keep hoping he makes good decisions and hoping I don't go insane. For now, I think I will just read a magazine in bed, then try not to screw up tomorrow.
So......ready for Christmas?
I think I may have to have a Mommy tantrum soon....or another one. I don't know if any of us ever truly outgrow tantrums. I don't think it may be very healthy to outgrow them. It sometimes feels good to have a hissy fit, tantrum, fit, go nuts, let it out, let down, blow off steam. The way we go about it changes over the years but the effect is still the same, we feel a sweet release when we let the emotional pressure out. Some people don't even know the pressure is building until they blow off some steam, other people feel it building and start venting earlier. I think when you bottle up and deny those feelings of anger or frustration that you head for trouble.
I have no idea how some people stay so calm and detached from their emotions. I'm not sure how people aren't angered by outrages they see or injustices they witness. I'm not sure how people can ignore lying, cheating, backstabbing or manipulative people they know but can't get away from.
Lately my life seems like a powder keg, one spark and things will blow. I'm trying to vent the pressure by tackling the things that I can, as they arise. I feel so powerless and weak in the face of my growing son. I want to be the "right" mother, do the "right" thing, say the "right" thing...mostly, I just want a crystal ball to see what I should do. It would be kind of nice if life were like a choose-your-own-adventure book. It would be great to kind of peek ahead a few pages to see if the outcome were sunny or gloom-filled then choose to head that way or not.
Teenagers are right there in that middle ground where so much can go so wrong or so much can go so right. I think most parents want their kids to have as much fun as they can, enjoy life, learn enough to head off to college and then into a good life. So few teenagers really seem to be doing that at all. It's tough knowing how to parent so any of it works out.
I used to think life was so hard when he was young, now I look back and think..."give me juice boxes and Sesame Street any day!" I worried about choosing the right things then, now I'm a basket case. I was never fully stable to begin with I don't think. I wonder if I just need to chalk it all up to life and hope for the best? There doesn't seem to be much choice when tempers flare and teenager heels dig in against parents.
I really don't think that any of us will win this whole teenager parent thing, but I do know that the teens end and adulthood comes far too fast. I think I should just try to enjoy each day and keep hoping he makes good decisions and hoping I don't go insane. For now, I think I will just read a magazine in bed, then try not to screw up tomorrow.
So......ready for Christmas?
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Small town, enormous town
I remember it like it was yesterday. It was a grey, drizzly Saturday about 1984 or 85 in Goodman's Cafe on Main Street in Blountstown, FL. I had a bowl of chili and a grilled cheese sandwich. We only went to town once a month.We had to pay someone to take us to town grocery shopping when my Grandmother's social security and the teacher's retirement check came in. We always had lunch at one of the few restaurants in town. I always loved the Burger Shake. The Green's then the Donaldson's ran a great place. We lived out near Sam Adkins Park. I remember when they built it.
We banked at Ellis Bank, later NCNB Bank, my Grandmother refused to call it anything but Ellis Bank. Mrs. Peacock was my Grandmother's favorite teller at one point, I'm not sure if she moved to the credit union or not when that came to town. Things got a bit hazy there for a while. I know we used to shop at Hagler's IGA and Evelyn Donaldson was my Grandmother's favorite cashier. Then they opened the Piggly Wiggly in the lot adjoining Corbin's hardware store. We started shopping there because "Aunt Margie" worked in the deli. They had amazing potato wedges.
One thing I was absolutely certain of was that I would live in Blountstown, FL. I would teach in Blountstown when I grew up despite the fact the teachers seemed to think I wasn't very bright. I knew I would graduate with the BHS class of 1988, I would go to FSU or Emmanuel College. I just knew I would return to live the rest of my life near the family and friends I had in Blountstown. I was not one of the popular kids, I didn't have a lot of family. I had family by marriage and a few really good friends I wanted to be near always.
It's amazing what you can convince yourself of when you are too young and naive to see another way. I didn't graduate with the class of 1988 in Blountstown, but with another class of 1988 in Chicago, IL. I did not go to either FSU or Emmanuel. I went to 3 different schools but finished exactly none of them because life kept getting in the way. I never returned to Blountstown aside from 3-5 brief visits.
I did learn as I ventured away with my Mom in 1985, that strange November day that there was a huge world and I was on the edge of it. I learned when I got to Chicago that I was far from stupid, or dimwitted, I was placed in honors classes and did fairly well in them. I also learned that I had a very high level of social anxiety, I hid it behind a joker's mask of smiles and laughter. My shell was beginning to crack. I was emerging. The person I tucked away in that shell all those years ago had continued to grow, she just looked very different than the one I'd envisioned and the one I'd been forced to pretend to be. In truth the cracks started appearing before I left Blountstown. I was beginning to grow up and actually voice my opinion, no matter how ignorant it was perceived to be, how ill advised, unpopular, humorless or humorous.
As the years trod on, I went off to college, realized I hated theater and didn't want to do it anymore. I came back to Chicago, was reconnected with a boy I knew from Blounstown. A boy my Grandmother probably didn't like, but it was the closest thing to her blessing I could get. I'd fallen for him hard in 5th grade and he never left my heart and mind. We reconnected, fell in love, I moved to Pensacola,shacked up and married, went back to school but didn't know if I wanted to teach. I started work in an elementary school as assistant director in after school care (was SURE I didn't want to teach) then had a baby. I went back to school yet again. This time I discovered I was actually quite intelligent. I had more fun tutoring various electronics courses, Physics, Calculus and honors English while working as a lab FA and lead FA in my department.
You guessed it...quit school again because it was my son's turn to go to Kindergarten. I couldn't be an hour away when he got sick and needed me. I threw myself into volunteer work in his school, then won the PTA presidency. The school was barely integrated. It was largely a hispanic community. The PTA was run by two white women when I decided it was time for a change. I hadn't been as sneaky as I had the capacity to be yet, nor as naughtily good. The constitution hadn't been touched in 4 years. I rewrote the constitution and happily admit I forced my agenda for an integrated PTA. I wrote into the constitution that there would be a President, and 2 vice president's one of whom was to be bilingual the other only Spanish speaking. I incorporated 2 Hispanic teachers, meetings were conducted in English and Spanish at the same time. I met with the parents of Hispanic children who were considering involvement in the PTA based on a male Hispanic teacher approaching the father's. That was the best winter festival ever. We had a full line kitchen making fresh Mexican food, fathers and mothers were both involved.
The years have moved on and so have I. I am a housewife and a mother. I am often exasperated or exasperating. I am over worked and under appreciated or over appreciated and under worked. I am not very good at Candy Crush. I am a pretty lazy housekeeper, I wish I liked to clean, but sadly I like to connect with friends and family. The mess and the souvenirs from years of travel and our life as a family will be here. Life however, is short.
In my childish insular world, I never imagined what my life would be like. Certainly not where life would take me. I had planned on lesson plans, those same school walls I walked so many years before with the echos of classmates laughter falling like stones to the floor as new notes replaced them. Homecoming parades and a never ending round of "Eye of the Tiger". I had planned on finally not letting fear hold me back and becoming more out going. I had planned on falling in love with and marrying a boy in that same small town. I did do that.
As my perfect dream of sitting in Goodman's diner every Saturday afternoon in my adult life (until "the one" came along) ended in a nightmare one day. I awoke new and reborn, being reborn daily.
We banked at Ellis Bank, later NCNB Bank, my Grandmother refused to call it anything but Ellis Bank. Mrs. Peacock was my Grandmother's favorite teller at one point, I'm not sure if she moved to the credit union or not when that came to town. Things got a bit hazy there for a while. I know we used to shop at Hagler's IGA and Evelyn Donaldson was my Grandmother's favorite cashier. Then they opened the Piggly Wiggly in the lot adjoining Corbin's hardware store. We started shopping there because "Aunt Margie" worked in the deli. They had amazing potato wedges.
One thing I was absolutely certain of was that I would live in Blountstown, FL. I would teach in Blountstown when I grew up despite the fact the teachers seemed to think I wasn't very bright. I knew I would graduate with the BHS class of 1988, I would go to FSU or Emmanuel College. I just knew I would return to live the rest of my life near the family and friends I had in Blountstown. I was not one of the popular kids, I didn't have a lot of family. I had family by marriage and a few really good friends I wanted to be near always.
It's amazing what you can convince yourself of when you are too young and naive to see another way. I didn't graduate with the class of 1988 in Blountstown, but with another class of 1988 in Chicago, IL. I did not go to either FSU or Emmanuel. I went to 3 different schools but finished exactly none of them because life kept getting in the way. I never returned to Blountstown aside from 3-5 brief visits.
I did learn as I ventured away with my Mom in 1985, that strange November day that there was a huge world and I was on the edge of it. I learned when I got to Chicago that I was far from stupid, or dimwitted, I was placed in honors classes and did fairly well in them. I also learned that I had a very high level of social anxiety, I hid it behind a joker's mask of smiles and laughter. My shell was beginning to crack. I was emerging. The person I tucked away in that shell all those years ago had continued to grow, she just looked very different than the one I'd envisioned and the one I'd been forced to pretend to be. In truth the cracks started appearing before I left Blountstown. I was beginning to grow up and actually voice my opinion, no matter how ignorant it was perceived to be, how ill advised, unpopular, humorless or humorous.
As the years trod on, I went off to college, realized I hated theater and didn't want to do it anymore. I came back to Chicago, was reconnected with a boy I knew from Blounstown. A boy my Grandmother probably didn't like, but it was the closest thing to her blessing I could get. I'd fallen for him hard in 5th grade and he never left my heart and mind. We reconnected, fell in love, I moved to Pensacola,shacked up and married, went back to school but didn't know if I wanted to teach. I started work in an elementary school as assistant director in after school care (was SURE I didn't want to teach) then had a baby. I went back to school yet again. This time I discovered I was actually quite intelligent. I had more fun tutoring various electronics courses, Physics, Calculus and honors English while working as a lab FA and lead FA in my department.
You guessed it...quit school again because it was my son's turn to go to Kindergarten. I couldn't be an hour away when he got sick and needed me. I threw myself into volunteer work in his school, then won the PTA presidency. The school was barely integrated. It was largely a hispanic community. The PTA was run by two white women when I decided it was time for a change. I hadn't been as sneaky as I had the capacity to be yet, nor as naughtily good. The constitution hadn't been touched in 4 years. I rewrote the constitution and happily admit I forced my agenda for an integrated PTA. I wrote into the constitution that there would be a President, and 2 vice president's one of whom was to be bilingual the other only Spanish speaking. I incorporated 2 Hispanic teachers, meetings were conducted in English and Spanish at the same time. I met with the parents of Hispanic children who were considering involvement in the PTA based on a male Hispanic teacher approaching the father's. That was the best winter festival ever. We had a full line kitchen making fresh Mexican food, fathers and mothers were both involved.
The years have moved on and so have I. I am a housewife and a mother. I am often exasperated or exasperating. I am over worked and under appreciated or over appreciated and under worked. I am not very good at Candy Crush. I am a pretty lazy housekeeper, I wish I liked to clean, but sadly I like to connect with friends and family. The mess and the souvenirs from years of travel and our life as a family will be here. Life however, is short.
In my childish insular world, I never imagined what my life would be like. Certainly not where life would take me. I had planned on lesson plans, those same school walls I walked so many years before with the echos of classmates laughter falling like stones to the floor as new notes replaced them. Homecoming parades and a never ending round of "Eye of the Tiger". I had planned on finally not letting fear hold me back and becoming more out going. I had planned on falling in love with and marrying a boy in that same small town. I did do that.
As my perfect dream of sitting in Goodman's diner every Saturday afternoon in my adult life (until "the one" came along) ended in a nightmare one day. I awoke new and reborn, being reborn daily.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Random thoughts
I'm having some random thoughts and thought I should share my thoughts here. See, I thought that out.
I think the school systems are really doing more harm to our children than good. As long as a child follows along on a straight line, doesn't speak, colors within the lines, obeys without question....then they are considered good.
If a child is a free spirit, following his own path but getting to the music room on time, colors things the way they want them to be, questions the methods of doing something, is boisterous or chooses "the wrong friends" Then they are bad.
My son is NOT bad. Does he make stupid mistakes? Absolutely. Do many of us? Absolutely. Does he not do as well as he should in order to pursue a more fun distraction? Yes Do many of us? Of course...who the heck wants to do dishes when there is a child, a fireplace, a kitty and a TV? Is this normal? Yes, it is.
It seems that the majority of the kids today have aberrant behavior compared to the way I grew up. I don't trust a kid who won't make eye contact or talk directly to an adult, especially as a teenager. It's abnormal for boys and girls not to have been in at least one or two playground fights by the time they finish 6th grade. It's not normal for kids not to learn that there are bigger, faster, stronger, more deserving, less deserving, wonderful people and downright horrible people in the world.
As much as I feel it's my job to make sure he has good food, clean clothes (all bets are off with his bathroom and bedroom) learns to organize and study, learn to balance a check book, do taxes...etc. As much as all those are my job as a Mom, it is also my job to teach him the cruel realities of the world and help him learn to make good choices.
I feel my son is about 80-90% honest overall. The homework and tooth brushing lies we won't even enter. I am shocked that parents tell me their kids don't talk to them. Mine talks constantly to me, about me, with me. He hates me and he loves me just like a good teenager should....tonight he asked me how to figure out who he is. This is what I see hiding inside his shell;
a boy who is
Smart
Funny
Indomitable (most of the time)
Handsome
Strong
Loving
Giving
Caring
Seeking
Strong sense of fairness
Loves his cat
Enjoy's bible devotion
Loves Halloween
Loves giving gifts to make people smile
Loves his cat
Has a good moral compass
I think the school systems are really doing more harm to our children than good. As long as a child follows along on a straight line, doesn't speak, colors within the lines, obeys without question....then they are considered good.
If a child is a free spirit, following his own path but getting to the music room on time, colors things the way they want them to be, questions the methods of doing something, is boisterous or chooses "the wrong friends" Then they are bad.
My son is NOT bad. Does he make stupid mistakes? Absolutely. Do many of us? Absolutely. Does he not do as well as he should in order to pursue a more fun distraction? Yes Do many of us? Of course...who the heck wants to do dishes when there is a child, a fireplace, a kitty and a TV? Is this normal? Yes, it is.
It seems that the majority of the kids today have aberrant behavior compared to the way I grew up. I don't trust a kid who won't make eye contact or talk directly to an adult, especially as a teenager. It's abnormal for boys and girls not to have been in at least one or two playground fights by the time they finish 6th grade. It's not normal for kids not to learn that there are bigger, faster, stronger, more deserving, less deserving, wonderful people and downright horrible people in the world.
As much as I feel it's my job to make sure he has good food, clean clothes (all bets are off with his bathroom and bedroom) learns to organize and study, learn to balance a check book, do taxes...etc. As much as all those are my job as a Mom, it is also my job to teach him the cruel realities of the world and help him learn to make good choices.
I feel my son is about 80-90% honest overall. The homework and tooth brushing lies we won't even enter. I am shocked that parents tell me their kids don't talk to them. Mine talks constantly to me, about me, with me. He hates me and he loves me just like a good teenager should....tonight he asked me how to figure out who he is. This is what I see hiding inside his shell;
a boy who is
Smart
Funny
Indomitable (most of the time)
Handsome
Strong
Loving
Giving
Caring
Seeking
Strong sense of fairness
Loves his cat
Enjoy's bible devotion
Loves Halloween
Loves giving gifts to make people smile
Loves his cat
Has a good moral compass
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
International fun
We recently went to Toronto for a rugby match. The Maori All Blacks vs Toronto. Going in to Ontario we were asked
- how many are you
- why are you coming to canada
- where are you going
- where are you staying
- how long will you be here
- do you have any fire arms
I was sitting in the back seat and we were not asked to lower the window. We were not asked if we had any food products. We were there for part of 4 days and 3 nights. They rugby match was awesome, NZ won 40-15.
While there we purchased candy, milk in a bag, cheese, bran cereal, fibre bars, whipped honey, and maple syrup.
The guard asked us coming back to
- lower the back window
- why were you in canada
- how long were you there
- what did you bring back
- what kind of snacks
- doesn't your son have a passport
- why didnt you just bring the expired passport for him it would have been easier to read than this birth certificate and student id
- what else did you bring back
- i can't understand the lady what is she saying
- what kind of groceries
The guard's tone was totally rude and dismissive. This happens EVERY single time we or anyone we know has crossed the border into Canada. It's much more peaceful to enter Canada from the US. The return trip is a nightmare because you never know what to expect as far as stupid questions.
I find it a joke that so many people in Detroit are losing their pensions, they could hold those jobs and be pleasant doing it. The ideal situation would be to have actual soldiers at the border. There are so many returning vets or unemployed vets who would do a much more competent job at both the border and in airports as TSA officials. I think the more that the US tries to crack down on all the "trafficking", "terrorism" and moronic rules about processed food, the worse the situation will get. The easiest and most sure way to get a child to do the wrong thing is to tell it not to do that. The child then wants to push the boundaries. At least my inner child does.
I'm probably not the best example of a Mom, my son pushes boundaries too, but darn it; we think for ourselves and draw our own conclusions.
Please don't tell me I can't bring back milk in a bag....i will find a way.
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