Monday, April 17, 2017

A complicated road trip

It was all supposed to be so simple.  Head to WV, KY, TN, VA then home.  This route was going to allow us to see a friend I hadn't seen since perhaps 1993.  First the order got changed and I missed seeing a friend in TN.  We did however, add in a jaunt to see my Mama, Daddy, Great Grandma and Great Grandpa.  We of course took photos for the book of the dead.  We always take cemetery photos of our loved ones.  We recreated a photo we took when our son was 5 months old.  He was sitting atop his Great Grandparents (Mama and Daddy) double headstone while we held him.  This time he was 18 and sat on top with my husband next to him.  I'm sure that Mama and Daddy enjoyed holding their first great grandchild at 5 months and at 18 years.  The Great Great Grandparents didn't participate in the holding.

We missed my friend, but we learned that Gatlinburg should probably be renamed Cracklinburg owing to the sheer number of crack pipes and crack bongs they had on the main drag.  We have no proof, but we are guessing this is why they are called the Smokey Mountains.  There was a fair amount of cheap knives, badly done Chinese art and several sex shops.  The moonshine was ok.  There was a place with outstanding fries.

Our son, though born southern, has lost all connection to and concept of conquering a buffet.  We were saddened.  We nearly disowned him when he disparaged biscuits.  We have failed in some fundamental way if he can bash a biscuit.

The guys shot machine guns and I bought cast iron after a trip to the amusement park for those liking sharp objects, Smokey Mountain Knife Works. We spent a day at Wonderworks, spent time at Bush's beans and got lost up a mountain on a great drive.

Virginia was great and we really want to hit Richmond again.  There was so much we didn't finish doing.  We did make a quick jaunt to DC and one of the Smithsonian museums.  We could have spent a week in each location and not seen all there was to see.

On the way home we stopped at Tudor's Biscuit World.  Again we nearly disowned our son.  The cretin ordered a cheeseburger and once again denounced biscuits with a nasty sneer worthy of a Frenchman taking an American's order for coffee.

We learned that we pack like we are maniacs, we never have enough charging cables, but we do a lot of things on the spur of the moment, like the entire DC trip.  Totally spur of the moment.

We planned next to nothing.  We had a lot of fun finding things to do, but the snarcastic teen was a bit trying at times.  I also had PMS.  Not a good mix with husband and son who enjoy picking on people just to piss them off, it's apparently very fun to piss off Mommy.

We got home safe and sound to our kitty who also was safe and sound.  We got home on Good Friday.  We also learned that some idiots think Easter is the birth of Jesus.  They are supposed to be Christians.  We wonder now.