Sunday, February 24, 2013

Gay, gay or gay, also possibly gay

Gay, gay or gay Just because a person is gay doesnt mean they are required to be gay or gay. I know plenty of gay people who are neither gay nor gay. Some people profess to be gay but are seldom if ever gay, rarely gay and almost never gay. Most gay people I know are gay but not gay, despite the fact that they are gay.

The burgeoning trend toward shiftlessness and gaity has long vexed me. Why be gay and lax when so much remains to be done. It is possible to be gay while hard at work. I've worked with many gay people. Some were gay, gay and gay. Others yet were gay and gay. Some were just gay. Other colleagues were gay, but not gay thus they were never gay, gay, while being merely gay.

Which brings us to yet another gay. How dare some one act gay when they are not gay nor are they doing it gaily! They are gay acting with malice aforethought. Or they are gay in the 'that's so gay' mien. Which is most definitely NOT gay, but vile. Curses to those non gay, un-gay, and not gay gay, gay people.

If only everyone could be gay, perhaps feign gay until it becomes a habit, then the world would be a much gaier. What a gay time this has been. May you all have a gay day!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Leave Britney Alone....please...pretty please????

Bring the action...When you hear this in the club
You gotta turn the sh-t up
When we up in the club
All eyes on us
See the boys in the club
They watching us
Everybody in the club
All eyes on us
I wanna scream and shout, and let it all out
We saying, oh wee oh wee oh wee oh wee oh
I wanna scream and shout, and let it all out
You are now rocking with and Britney, b-tchRock and roll, everybody let's lose control
All the bottom we let it go
Going fast, we aint going slow, no
Hear the beat, now let's hit the floor
Drink it up, and then drink some more
Light it up, and let's let it blow
Hey yo, rock it out, rock it now
If you know what we talking 'bout
Turn it up, and burn down the house, hooouse
Hey yo, turn it up, and don't turn it down
Here we go, we gon shake the ground
Cause everywhere that we go we BRING THE ACTIONWhen you hear this in the club
You gotta turn the sh-t up
When we up in the club
All eyes on us
You see them girls in the club
They looking at us
Everybody in the club
All eyes on us
You are now rocking with and Britney, b-tch
It goes on and on and on and on
When me and you party together
I wish this night would last forever
Cause I was feeling down, now im feeling better
And maybe it goes on and on and on and on
When me and you party together
I wish this night would last forever, ever, ever, everYou are now rocking with and Britney, b-tch

Sadly.....she doesn't sing on this and it's probably the best thing she's ever recorded.  I guess the advent of the garbled robovoice singing phenomenon might actually launch a career for Britney Spears other than the one launched in the pants of many teen-aged boys back in the late 90's.  She was all packaged fluff, is packaged fluff and followed in the footsteps of packaged fluff...all of  whom had a shelf life of approximately one song.  Sometimes they actually just think they are good and sometimes people actually feed that myth!  Why?  I would rather hear Paula Deen sing and that woman has a voice like a screech owl.   People actually called something Spears did a decade or whatever ago a comeback...comeback from where...obscurity?  

I wonder if Britney actually had a hand in writing these oh so deep and meaningful lyrics.  Although credit to the songwriter, they don't use the "we young and we sick" line in it.  It is a bit like Pidgen English for those young and sick hot clubbers who are most likely too ill from the many drugs and strange drinks in the clubs to have time to speak English between vomiting bouts, or hook ups in the bathroom with some strange girl, guy or girl/guy in the same club...who is also presumably young and sick hopefully with the same thing otherwise something else might breed that we can't cure.  Like Britney Spears. 

The girl had a voice like a fart on a plastic seat in an elementary school when she first started singing.  I am assuming her years of stellar non smoking lifestyle has led to even better vocal cord resonance.  I can only imagine that she now sounds just like that robot doing her singing..or will for her next, next re-comeback comeback tour.  There are people who suck just as much as she does...I think most of them had the good graces to fall by the wayside after the first time they failed at a singing career or at least the second surely they didn't try for a third, or is this now a fourth?  

If people would all just "Leave Britney alone!!"  maybe she would go fade into obscurity and just become a bad blip on the questionable music radar.  Please everyone....leave Britney alone.  Please.  

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

la la la la la I can't hear you

When most people first have a child they can't wait for it to talk.  I am no different.  I waited with anticipation as did my husband waiting for those precious first words.  We listened to his surprised little "oh's" we would say "oh" back then watch him kick his feet with sheer baby joy.  Eventually he started babbling, mama, dada, first words soon followed bah  (ball) dis (this).

Over the years there have been some memorable phrases;

"whe room go?" (we were moving)
"whe money go?" (dropping change in a filing cabinet)
"awnt some pizza!" (he smelled it because we intercepted the delivery boy)
"kitty go huff" (our cat at the time hissed a lot)
"yah I wope it" (his behind)

All that stuff was 1-7 so long ago.  Every so often he still lets something fly that should be painful.  I won't embarrass him with the "sometimes I try them on" explanation on here, but I wanted to rewind time then.  Tonight I just wanted to cry.  I feel at this point that I have surely wasted the last 14 years of my life trying to humanize a child.  Tonight my 14 year old son was given a bar of anti blemish soap our friend in New Zealand made, I found it under my sink just in time to stave off some pimples before they fully attacked.  I handed him the bar and said "go wash your face with this, it's the soap Brendan's sister made" his reply "ok" he came to our bathroom instead of real wonder there, his is scary near the sink.  He said, "what do I do?"  I said, "wash your face" him, "how" me "with soap and water" (I'm not sure what's going on at this point) then the kicker...."how do I use a bar of soap on my face?"  I was dumbstruck.  I said something along the lines of 'are you kidding me?' or 'are you serious?' his next line was "I'm not good with bars of soap"  I told him to "wet your face, lather the soap between wet hands then rub it on your face"  him "how?" I am at this point a cross between livid and wondering if I have a semi-human man-boy-ape living with me.  I went to watch and guide him through the traumatic experience.  He lathered so much he dropped the soap in the sink then picked it up to lather more. I told him I was sure that was enough lather.  Then, my heavens, he figured out where to put the lather and rinse it off himself.

So, in the past 14 years I have taught my son to use a bar of soap.  Oh and talk, lots of talking.

Monday, February 4, 2013

That pacifically annoys me

Two many people use the wrong word to without meaning too and other words to for that matter.  I am shore I do it too sometimes.
Here are sum examples I can think of write now:
I'm itching my palm because I borrowed money two my friend. Oh weight a itching palm means yore going too get money, knot knead money!

Now I need someone to borrow me sum money because eye kneed it to by itchy palm creme. 

I am pacifically sure that is what the teacher learned me to say in class when I mean some thing pacific. 

Do ya have enough tin foil to cover it up?

Can you borrow me some money?

I learned her to do that all by herself.

I gets annoyed to when peoples use the wrong words tenses in sentences.  It bugs me when people want to axe me a question.  Asking me if I can carry them to the store is also a bit confusing. I can't really carry that much.  Let's have a looksee...are we having a look or would you like to see it?  I've already seen it and I'm not sure what it is that's why I'm asking if you can take a look at it...if you can't see it then I must be crazy because that means it isn't there.

I'm so glad I talks as good as I due and never make any missteaks in spelling or sentence structure or in tentses and I'm real glad I don't axe questions!!