Saturday, October 12, 2013



Fifteen is so  much more than just a number.  Fifteen is an entire lifetime for some.  Fifteen is a turning point for most.  Fifteen is halfway through the teens.  Fifteen takes forever but is gone in an instant.  Fifteen is first dates, first kisses, first skinny dipping.  Fifteen is learning responsibility, taking ownership of your actions.  Fifteen is warm hugs and kisses.  Fifteen is chess matches or othello games.  Fifteen so far from nothing, on the edge of tomorrow.

My son just turned 15.  There are times when I was a proponent of the 216 month abortion (ok that's a bit harsh) so there were times I wanted to duct tape his mouth shut and stick him in a closet until he stopped sassing.  I also wondered if spiking his water with some sleep aid would be a good choice.  I often wondered at what age it was appropriate to give your child a double martini.

He is dichotomy in action.  Making a great decision followed by a moronic decision.  Doing well on a test then not turning in homework and failing a class.  It hurts to watch your child do these things.  It also hurts when we hear them tearing themselves apart, swearing they "can't possibly" do something, then taking a hard line with them only to see them succeed in learning a concept.  He's calm, loving and giving yet is also the tasmanian devil in disguise.

We had a really crappy thing happen at school this week.  I've defended him before, but for the first time I decided  'NO, you will NOT treat my son this way, at all, ever again',  This happened the day before my birthday this year.  I left a message the day before for her to return my call so that I could finish this issue with the assistant principal.  Then something came over me on my birthday morning that said 'No! You will take command and put her on the defensive'.  I called, and spoke with the assistant principal.  I had researched my facts, I knew the law, I knew nothing illicit happened.  I MOM'ed the assistant principal. When she tried to interrupt I either informed her I was still speaking in my best terse voice followed by soothing voice to calm her down.  When she interrupted again I talked over her.  Informed her I was still speaking.  She tried back peddling, she called my son a liar yet again.  I conceded that point knowing full well that my equally argumentative son would set her straight with facts.  I used loaded phrases like "breached the bond of trust between administration and student", "humiliated", "vilified" Then reminded her of the facts; which happen to be ALL in writing.  I verified them, printed them and am waiting for her to ask for them.  She seems to feel they aren't necessary.  My son was like gold 2 weeks ago for bully busting a guy who was shoving his own girlfriend around.  I further informed her that he can't go from hero to public enemy number one based on zero evidence.  After sputtering and whinging she did agree.  I told her in a nice way it would behoove her to contact him to re-establish that broken bond of trust.  She called him to her office the next day, tried to take some hard line accusing him of lying about the time spent in the office.  He argued right back and told her to call his teachers to ask if he was there.  I was proud, he handled it as I would, asking for proof.  She apologized fully after that.

Too many children who are actual abusers, liars (huge lies, not forgot homework lies) con artists, thieves, and general bullies out there.  At a tender age like the teens I can not understand school staff tormenting a good boy who happens to be a goofball in class but defends those who need defending, comforts those in need and tries (inappropriately) to make people laugh.

My son isn't perfect....he's 15 and I will defend my baby as he needs it.  Hell hath no fury like a Mom catching staff or faculty threatening a child,  Heck, I'd love to be a 14 year old girl for a month at his school just to go do some bully busting of my own.  I have some nefarious ideas....sadly I am now 29 for the 14th time and can't turn back the hands of time.  I really would love to be  14 though....where is that darn flux capacitor???

1 comment:

Eve said...

Hey Vicki! This is great...I remember coming to my youngest son's defense in much the same way when he was about 13 or so. Come to think of it the same kind of things happened with my middle son. Only the oldest escaped, probably because he spent most of his school career with his nose in a book and didn't really care what kind of drama was going on around him....(yes, that's right, he was a weirdo!! lol!) It's hard for kids when they really are doing their damnedest to do the right thing and the school turns out to be the biggest bully of all.