Way too complicated!!

I have been away from my sanity lately....yes moreso than usual!!  I am having nightmares, tremors and twitching in public.  My palms are itching, I'm breaking out in cold sweats.  I'm having nearly non stop panic attacks.  I keep hearing voices, screaming and crying.  I keep having strange images enter my head and am beginning to feel quite insane.

Why????

I have no freaking clue HOW to choose a decent airsoft sniper rifle for my 13 year old son!!  I have trawled websites, asked sales men, a teen friend.  I've asked my son...I've done everything short of meeting teenagers in dark alleyways, bribing them with itunes gift cards and candy in order to get answers. 

I've been told that each gun is "the best", "all of them are trash", "buy the warranty", "don't buy the warranty", "buy cheap but high fps because they all suck", "buy more expensive they will last", "go metal, It's better", "go plastic It's easier to use"....

I am at this point totally off the rails.  I am insane and may not last until Christmas.  I know that no matter what I do, buy, don't buy, or find out...that it will somehow all be "TOTALLY WRONG YOU HATE ME!!!"  "All my friends will laugh at me!!" 

Soooo...I guess I resign myself to the fact that everything sucks, nothing I do is right, has the chance of being right and all my intentions are to embarrass my son.  No matter how hard I try nothing I ever will do is right.  It won't ever be right, because our children are prewired to find contempt in each of our actions as parents.
When my son inevitably ends up in therapy blaming his nervous twitching mother and his confused father for all the ills in his life, at least we can blame part of it on what will surely be the worst airsoft sniper rifle in the world.  Because no matter what we buy....it will be wrong :)