Friday, November 18, 2011

Complicated Lives...part 29

Didja hear about Dolleen??

They joy of growing up or indeed living in a small town is that...everyone knows everyone!

In the north we get impatient if we have to wait for more than 10 seconds in line while a customer talks to a cashier. We sigh, we tap our foot, shift our weight, start shoving items closer to the cashier, "accidentally" bump the cart into the person in front of us, repeatedly check our watches, move closer to the person....all sorts of passive aggressive techniques.

None of those is the time honored southern..."no way!?" and simply joining in!!

In the south, the cashier is the queen (aside from the beautician) of the gossip train. She starts when the store opens at a civilized 8 or 9 am and goes until a reasonable closing time of 8 or 9 pm...pretty much non stop continuing the grapevine. When one cashier ends another gets right in there and picks it back up. It's how you get news in the south.

Didja hear Dolleen had that baby? No honey when did that happen? Oh yesterdee bout noon time...(another customer) you mean right when the shipyard horn went? cuz I heard some screaming and I knowed it wadn't her cuz we live out to the river and all but they sez that sometimes birds'll scream when a womans breakin her waters...(another customer) oh no I heard that scream it wernt no bird it was tater...he got his toes cut off in the lon mower...(cashier) no way!! not tater he done that last week that musta been henry cuz lenore caught him at the bar with that waitress. (next customer) you don't mean betty jean!! (customer before) no that is betty ann, betty jean run off with derrick that boy from Texas. (cashier) so that's where that feller was from...he sounded pure funny! ( original customer) so when did Dolleen have the baby? (Owner of the store) Are yall talkin bout Dollen? she had him yesterdee bout noontime! Inez was watchin her stories and Clara called to tell her while she was in the hallway pukin...Clara not Dolleen cuz Clara eat that fish and drunk that milk and she orta know'd dang goodn well you don't eat no fish while ya drinkin milk. (cashier) well now you done ruint it! didn't nobody know it was a boy til now!

Ah things about small town life in the south!!!

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