Well, it’s finally happened.
My son is 17. I am 25 again. We’ve survived another year of birthdays,
anniversaries, and all those celebrations involving cake as we head into the
holidays. Everyone loves Christmas or
Easter, a lot of people love Thanksgiving or the 4th of July. Memorial day and labor day picnics are a must
for most people. We are not most
people. I am not most people. I prefer a nice shady dark cool corner
somewhere. I must have been a spider or other
cool, dark corner dweller. Perhaps I was
a resident of the desert with no rain and approximately 20 hours of sunlight
with temps in the low 200’s. At any
rate, in our household cake season is on hold from June to Oct. Thusly I have decided to relocate my birthday
to a more acceptable month in order to spread out cakery.
I am thinking August.
In June we have Annibirfather’s day (anniversary, Husband’s birthday (yes someone
was crazy enough to marry me) and Father’s day)
One year I forgot what day it was and failed to wish my husband a happy
birthday upon first sight. He looked
crushed and said “Well??” I was all like
“What?” Then he told me it was his
birthday. I proudly announced No, your
birthday is tomorrow. He asked me the
date of his birthday (yep I knew it) I told him and he said “that’s today”
again in airhead mode I was all like “Omg it’s so totally not!” I’ll check my phone. That damn backstabbing piece of technology
agreed with him about the date! That
jerky phone! Warranty my butt. I turned on the news, looked at a paper…I
pulled out all the stops.
Everything in the world had
banded together with him in some wicked “fool the wife” prank leaving me
totally confused. I meekly wished him a
happy birthday and scuttled off to make or procure a cake. Since June is very cake heavy with
Anniversary, followed one week later by birthday, then Father’s day about a
week after that. I get one cake for the
target birthdate, unless we are jonesing for frosting, then I use the earlier
date. If other desserts have entered our
lives I may go all wild and post pone it until Father’s day.
Then boom…….dearth of cake.
July is a berryish month with cookies and halva or something
else kind of light and or frozen
August is frozen confections, sherbet, ice cream, fruit
bars, fresh fruit, cookies
September is back to school drown your teenage tears in this
lovely cake, but don’t cry on my side of the frosting.
October my son and I have birthdates one day apart. His is literally the next day. He likes one kind of frosting, I like
another.
November is pieish
December is every dessert not nailed down
January, still mopping up desserts from December
February is Valentine’s day cake
March or April is Easter cake, the other is whatever cake I
end up making
May is Mother’s day cake and Kitty’s birthday. Pao doesn’t really eat cake, but he does like
real whipped cream and likes cakes made of his favorite food with a pup-peroni stuck in the top.
That eventually returns us to the fact that there is a
stretch from July through August seriously devoid of cake. I must sacrifice my birthday for the greater
good of cake-kind.. There will be
frosting roses in August and they will be mine, mine, all mine!! Until I cut the first slice then share it
around. I’m not a total cake hog!
Well, I’m another year older, I’d like to say wiser but I’m
not sure. According to recent research
conducted by my son on a bad day I am “senseless and irresponsible” because I
did something to upset young master tyrant.
I have also been told just how often I’m ruining his life…which seems to
be whenever I utter the word “No”. I
have learned a few new things this year, such as temping is a lot of fun in the
right environment. I think I prefer
temping to actual full time employment status.
Temping allows me to say no if I’m having a bad run of things. I’m also learning new things at everyplace
and refreshing my skills. I have learned
that cat bites don’t infect if properly bled and then licked by said
biter. In his defense he was chewing his
own nails and mine got in the way. He
decided it was high time I learn to chew my nails like a proper cat. I’ve totally digressed….
So my new birthday is in August. I am not yet sure of the day but I may float
the day based on what desserts we have on hand.
I must plan ahead! Cake is
serious business and not to be purchased or made frivolously!
1 comment:
Happy Birthday, you old fart.
August is an awesome choice. I'm even willing to share my day with a friend like you. August 11, 1965 was a fine year in the Apple state. Have a bite, don't mind the maggots.
Have your cake and eat it too!
Robert
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