Ditzy Friends are the Best!

Ditz-as defined by Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary is a silly person who often forgets things.

Ditz – as defined by the Urban Dictionary equates us with Valley Girls…I’m like so totally cool with that!  Like ya know??

Ditz- as defined by The Free Dictionary is a scatterbrained eccentric person

I agree for the most part with these definitions.  Airhead also comes to mind as does distracted from trying to train a husband and teenager to act as mature as the cat.  I come by my ditzy moments honestly.  I was often a ditz as a teenager out of necessity.  There were people I didn’t really want to hang out with, who would be joining our group on an excursion or to a party.  “I like totally forgot!!” about the party or excursion so many times when an annoying person was to be joining us.  I also acted scatterbrained to get out of certain chores or to avoid other unpleasantries.   Being a semi-ditz at times was detrimental because there were some fun things that I genuinely forgot about because my mind was all over the place. 

Having a ditz as a friend is an excellent friend indeed.  We can be your excuse for not wanting to go places too.  Blame it on the ditz!  Chances are we won’t care, won’t get wind of it or will totally forget it in a few minutes. 

Everyone should have at least one ditz as a friend, unless of course you are a ditz, then you want to cut that right the heck out!  One can’t have two ditzes in the same social group.  The meeting would possibly trigger a blackhole or some other unimaginable physical horror.  When ditz’s collide nothing good can come of it.    

Ditziness is also great for gift giving.  I can go Christmas shopping with my husband in July or August.  Pick out a few things, watch him buy them, then he hides them and I totally forget about them until Christmas morning!  We did that one year with purses.  I vaguely recalled from time to time looking at purses but couldn’t remember if I’d purchased one or not.  Turns out it was two of them.  I used to have a thing for shoes, now I have a thing for purses.  I tend to stick to the same few pairs of shoes because I need more sole stability now.  I do miss high heels but will survive. 

I’m not a ditz all the time.  Just when I’m tired of thinking, tired of being a grown up or just plain tired in general.  Not to brag, but I’m actually fairly intelligent.  I just choose to allocate that intelligence as needed then hide behind masks such as sarcasm, ditziness (It can be hard work to act vacuous or vapid) or churlishness.  I’ve been taken advantage of many times it’s easier when people think I’m far too dim witted to do something to be of use to them.  I don’t want people in my life who want to use me and abuse me.   I want people in my life who value me, who can put up with all my masks and allow me to drop the masks at times.  I like being able to be counted on by friends with whom I share a mutual respect.  I don’t act ditzy at work either.  I have done this in the past to avoid crappy shifts at a crappy job when I was a teenager. 

The song Because I’m a Blonde could, at times, be my anthem (aside from the fact that I’m not blonde). A certain level of ditziness can help mask pain too; both emotional and physical.  When I’m spending time with certain people I hide behind a wall of stupidity.  It’s easier to have them become angry because they think I’m an idiot, than it is to allow them to take out their usual hateful aggression on me simply because I’m around.  I can hear the clucking now.  I have indeed told these people I don’t like being treated the way they treat me.  I have stood up for myself a countless number of times, all to no avail.  I choose my battles and battling once again for mutual respect isn’t worth it to me.  I’d rather just cower for a few days in abject stupidity pondering when the next basket weaving class might form up.  There is no escaping spending some amount of time with these people, otherwise I’d be all over it!  The  people who mistake me for stupid often show how ignorant they truly are, thus leading to a lot of hilarity when their own idiocy trips them up in public.  Every so often I enjoy popping off with a level of knowledge they don’t think I possess.  The look on their faces is priceless. 

Having a ditz or a pseudo-ditz in your life is a must.  I have had ditzes in my life and I’ve been the ditz.  I am of course totally stupid, and an absolute ditz and quite possibly the worst parent on the planet at the moment, for I have a teenaged child.  I have been assured by other people who seem reasonably smart and fairly reliable that by the time he’s 25 or so, I will become less stupid and he will actually ask my advice.  I am hoping this is true and not a fairy tale told to give me a false sense of hope.  If it’s true then I am gonna be pretty darn ditzy for a really long time then!