Thursday, January 3, 2013

Cleanliness is next to what?

I am one of the most difficultly organized people I know.  I try to organize myself, but something happens.  I never am sure what that something is.  For instance I will organize the cabinets in the kitchen.  I expect the guys to keep things organized as they put things away.  I try to put away groceries and before I know it, it looks like the cabinets have thrown up.  I am under a mountain of canned goods resenting the mess I've had to clean up because that one can wasn't in the right spot!  Yet I can walk past the same empty toilet roll for a week on the floor and never see it.

I exaggerate.  It isn't that bad, not now.  It was bad at times in the past.  I was physically unable to put away the groceries or a scene out of Mommy Dearest could end up playing out.  My husband is just as bad.  He feels this need to "put" things places.  My night stand...for one hour only...there was half an allergy pill in the plastic blister from the package.  I left it there to give to the kitty the next morning.  I went to put the pill in my drawer.  It was gone!  My husband "couldn't stand looking at it" so he threw it away!!??  "Plastic makes me angry"  WTH??  Did I marry an insane man?  Yet the stuff on his night stand is perfectly ok.  The "put-er" part would be ok if he were a put-er AND a rememberer.  He is a put-er and a forgeter!  "Honey where is the pack of lightbulbs I left on the counter?   I don't know.  What do you mean you don't know?  It means I don't know.  Why are you asking me?  I am asking you because you moved them.  No I didn't. Well, unless they sprouted wings and flew somewhere you did.  I don't know, look for them."  I could and have literally screamed!  6 months later they turn up in his suitcase or some other odd location.  He wonders how they got there.  I wonder where I will put them.

"How can you live like this? The can labels are all the wrong way!  You don't love me!" ~ actual comment from my husband's insane wife.  (me)  Same wife can ignore a pile of pillows in the corner because I just don't see them until I really stop and look around me.  Until I look for flaws or inconsistencies.  I just don't see them.  Some inconsistencies and mistakes are SO obvious.  Like all the red or all the black knives being in the same row or not being in some sort of pattern.  But a pile of pillows?  What kind of person notices that?  Totally bananas right?

I think all of us is slightly crazy in our own way.  I have to go organize fork tines.  That may actually be a hobo in the corner and not pillows upon second glance.  Oh well, I'll just ask my husband where he put the hobo he's sure to know.

No comments: