Monday, April 23, 2012

Lies lies lies!!!

I owe this post to a friend.  I'm not sure he wants his name on my blog...i'll call him poptarts.

Poptarts and I were discussing Chinese herbals.  The talk soon devolved into talk of other Chinese things in our culture.  Native Chinese foods such as, mayo covered mussels, Crab Rangoon, Lo-mein, La Choy in the can, and other things.  Then I wondered why I never see ANY of those things on a menu in Chinatown. 
Soon we started to question the validity of the fortunes in fortune cookies.  Were they truly meant for us as a message or was some faceless company churning them out by the thousands?  We'd been kind of hoping for a Freaky Friday experience just to visit life from another view.

It didn't take long for all this to devolve into a Chinese zodiac conversation.  How can you be a rabbit, but the Vietnamese say you're a cat??  One kinda kills the other for sport.  The rabbit does not win...or at least not often!
Poptarts and I may start to question other things do people in Italy really say bada-bing or bada-boom?  We may also start to wonder if Chef Boyardee is real Italian food? 
Are Patio brand Mexican Entrees real Mexican food? 

Lies, lies, lies we are surrounded by lies!!  I bet China doesn't even have Wing Ho Spicy beef, or Springfield Cashew chicken!!!

What do their fortunes say in China "idiots will order Crab Rangoon, snort derisively, affect bad Chinese accent for them haha"  Then Rangoon is ordered, waiter says under VERY badly affected accent "so sorry no have, must order this"  then elaborately points to the menu covering the entire wall!!  How could we miss that???
Our fictitious trip to China was less than fun.  Apparently raw fish eyes, boiled chicken intestines and eel tongue in lemon broth is only served to moron tourists with no/ low chopstick skills.  Our fortunes said "you will have lucky pants" or "you have much laughter".  We are never going back to imaginary China. 
We're going somewhere more fun next time, like ..........(poptarts gets to choose)


I just can't shut up said...

Poptarts is very interesting indeed @ anon #1;
Sorry wrong poptarts @Zack :) Poptarts is my secret and shall remain anonymous....

I like Blue berry poptarts...I usually have them cold

Anonymous said...

#1....cold poptarts are the only way to go!

I just can't shut up said...

@anonymous #1 poptarts is indeed a very cool friend and I owe a lot of my sanity to poptarts

RZ94 said...


Gunnslinger8 said...

Why did you remove all my comments??!! What did I EVER do to you. DONT MAKE ME MAD....hahaha just playing. But really why did you remove them?

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