Tuesday, January 24, 2012

If an idiot speaks in an empty room, do they still sound dumb?

I've noticed over the years as I've changed, that my tolerance for idiocy has also changed.
In some ways I'm much more tolerant now. I sometimes won't even make fun of the idiot. If it's physical idiocy, I'm more likely to be tolerant.  I often walk in circles and do other strange or idiotic things, such as wear socks as sleeves or Halloween tattoo sleeves to cover my forearms (laugh if you must, but it helps with hypersensitivity) I tend to be more understanding of what could be idiotic.  I still can't get behind someone who doesn't appear to own a mirror or have one single friend to be honest enough with them to flat out tell them "you look like an idiot".
I will be that friend to you now.....if you are reading this blog, with a whale-tail, butt-floss, thong (whatever) hanging out of your pants, with a beyond the muffin-top multi-tiered cake hanging over the front of said (sad) pants, and your shirt (Omg!, that's a tunic??) is riding high on the crest of belly that your boobs are using to prop themselves up on.....you look like an idiot, go immediately and change to some properly sized clothes now.  If you have chosen to shave off your eye-brows then stencil them on to look posh..you look like an idiot.
If it's just plain idiocy....I'm working on it. I try, I really, really try to ignore as many idiots and as much pure idiocy as I can.  I know that some people honestly don't know they are idiots.  I can assure you when I find out how big of an idiot I am I will feel like a real idiot!
Until I find out how dumb I am, (should happen soon now, my son is 13) I am going to be your friend and tell you when you are an idiot.  (I've done some of these things)  If you are reading this blog and using the disc drive on your computer for anything other than discs you are a very impressionable idiot.  The stupid drink holder thing has been out at least 10 years now.  If you believe your son when he tells you he showered, yet he still smells like butt, you are an idiot.  If you set your hair on fire with birthday cake candles you are an idiot.  If you drop furniture on yourself you are an idiot, but really know how to pass the time.  If you believe that the prince of ANY nation must contact you for help paying fees or smuggling money, will you send me $10,000 cash and I'll give you a personal check for $25,000?  If you continue to receive the same answer to a question, yet you continue to ask it you MIGHT be an idiot...or perhaps the person to which the query is placed is the idiot...rest assured one of you is an idiot.
Did that sound dumb???

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Everyone needs an honest person in their life, friend or foe. Those people that don't have one, no matter how intelligent, will end up being an idiot.

Eve said...

OMG Vicki! This is awesome...I've found that as I've gotten older I am less tolerant of certain kinds of idiocy...I can't stand it when someone opens their mouth and starts spouting stupid shit..but I am more forgiving of physical idiocy. I think it's because I look like an idiot too sometimes...although, I'm proud to say that I have never worn a tube top that barely covers my boob-shelf...aww, the dreaded flesh belt..whenever I see someone like that it reminds me of the 'people of Wal-Mart' pictures! lol

Karen said...

I confess: I'm an idiot. A pretty big one. BUT, I promise you will never see me wearing clothes that accentuate my flab, nor will I leave my house without combing the birds' nest on top of my head. And if I do, I fully expect someone to tell me that I look like an idiot. :)

Anonymous said...

Ummmmmmmmmm anonymous is my moniker!

Anonymous said...

It's mine now bitch

Anonymous said...

Watch your mouth, this is my sister's blog!

Anonymous said...

How about I'll be Anonymous #1 and you be #2?

Anonymous said...

How about you are #2 and I remain #1 as I always have been!

Anonymous said...

because I'm better than you

Anonymous said...

Yes you probably are better than me at many many things. But you are not better than me at being #1 sister! :) So step aside and be #2

Anonymous said...

I'll be damned if I leave the #1 pedestal...If you're #1 sister, then why don't you post under #1 sister instead of #2 anonymous?

Anonymous said...

I was here first........ you didn't start posting as anonymous until last week! So get over it!

Anonymous said...

I have nothing to get over. You're the one who is upset about being #2

kiwi said...

LMAO...keep it up girls, love a 'sis bitch'...Can't stop reading you Vicki, grrr I'm far too busy for this ya know! ;)