Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Complicated lives.....32

A gift of .......love???  Also known as wtf did I do wrong?!
One year my sister came to visit the steamy, sultry, palmetto bug infested south.  Poor deluded dear had visions of crepe myrtles, azaleas, honeysuckle, Spanish moss, lovely lush greenery, plantations, the genteel south, Tara, Twelve Oaks, Scarlett, Ashley and Rhett.  Possibly Mammy and Prissy too.
What she got was mosquito bites, some honeysuckle, fireants a hideous sunburn (I think) met our odd friends, learned that men dressed in kilts should NOT sit on the side wall of a pick-up while the girls sit in the bed of it.  One is left at eye level to a rather disturbing array of penii. New word??  We did this whole medieval re-enactment thing.  My husband does NOT wear a skirt as a matter of course.  I vouch not for the rest of the guys....but they were all fairly normal...I digress..
Since we weren't raised together...thank heavens...our poor Grand Parents would have long been insane, I'm sure we'd have been arrested, or deported.  I bet we would have figured out how to be trashy. I bet she knew you could use vaseline for shiny lips.  I could only figure out baby oil and that tasted funny.  Again off topic.  Since we weren't raised together we didn't have any chances to give our poor Mom sister gifts.  Things we had made ourselves in school or created in a bedroom closet from dryer lint, pipe cleaners, gum and pencil shavings. 
We went with our first "true" sister gift in the summer of 95. 
There were these odd booths popping up all over malls everywhere.  Record yourself!  Be a recording star!!  My sister and I are NOT musically inclined, especially when laughing.  We put in our $5 and found out we got to record 2 whole songs!  We dragged my husband in for the first one and sung/spoke/shouted/laughed "achy breaky heart"  the music was barely perceptible as was Mr Cyrus himself.  The words flashed rapid fire on a karaoke screen, they lit up just BEFORE you were supposed to sing them.  We were about 3 beats ahead.  For the second and heartfelt song we sung "wind beneath my wings" wow.  Mom must have thanked her lucky stars that year!  I'm sure that she kept such an amazingly great recording for YEARS.  I hope we never inherit it.
Oh youyouyouyou, you are the wind beneath my wings...highhighhigh! 


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Maybe that is why mom keeps moving, so we won't know exactly when she "misplaced" our present?