Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Complicated Lives....part 20


Head lice…ok you knew it was coming! We all know of head lice, I think all of us know at least one person who has had head lice. Perhaps you too have had head lice. I had never had lice as a child. Oh no, that special joy and shame didn’t happen to me until I was a caregiver in afterschool care and about 27 years old. How did this relatively clean crazy person get head lice??? Glad you asked! You didn’t? Well you get the story anyway because…this is my blog and as we all know…I just can’t shut up!!

I was minding my own business, getting my head stuck in tables and such when a work friend, Celeste came over to tease me. We shared a common hobby (aside from drinking) and more than a few common friends. She was friends with some people I really didn’t like at all…they lived one trailer over from Celeste. Was the trailer line really a surprise?? My friend Celeste decided to help me dye my hair one night. Celeste was good with hair and I am a sucker for chatting (also a huge shock no doubt!) but It’s rare I find a female I can get along with. Celeste was fun and nice, kind and nurturing, Celeste got along with nearly everyone…even the crazy people next door. Said crazy person, Rhoda was married to one man, Jethro, with another man’s baby as yet unborn. Her husband Jethro (kind but silly man) knew she was carrying another man’s child…in the worst kept secret of the century, the only person who didn’t know she was carrying Fred’s baby was Fred! Rhoda, Jethro and Fred all were good friends and spent time with the Sycamore’s. The Sycamore’s were a VERY filthy family with many filthy secrets, secrets I might not share.

The Sycamore family had a hellacious strain of lice. The kids heads, even the girls, were shaved but those suckers just came back. It was probably the fact that nothing ever got truly clean around the place..little things like, sheets, blankets, clothes, the kitchen…etc etc. These lice were members of the family. They had had the same lice family for years. I think their lice still keep in contact with the baby lice they sent out onto other children’s heads to repopulate the louse world. More than one child was in tears after contracting the ‘Sycamore Strain’ as many of us called it…I digress…

Celeste was doing my hair. She was clean, and didn’t scratch, so I let her use her own brush on me. Later that night I started itching like a dog with mange!! Remember, we covered mange J I went to the bathroom and continued scratching. I thought it might be the dye. The itching was along the back of my head and near my ears. While scratching I felt something, so I pulled it out of my hair. I looked and thought ‘OMG a funny whitish flea. Wait, flea?? Our cat doesn’t have fleas. What the he-- is this thing?’ I woke my husband and asked him. You guessed it folks! It was a louse!! OMG!!! My first louse ever! I felt so, so, stupid! Also dirty!! I called Celeste. She told me she didn’t have lice because her head wasn’t itching. Her husband checked her anyway. She was full of lice!! We sobbed together and started putting the pieces together…

Celeste had done Rhoda’s hair the week before. She also used one of her brushes on Rhoda. Rhoda was good friends with the Sycamore family and spent a lot of time there. I got them from Celeste, Celeste got them from Rhoda, Rhoda got them from the Sycamore’s. I got rid of my Sycamore strain in one treatment. Celeste had really thick wavy hair so she needed more than one as did Rhoda who had long thick wavy hair. We were all sure we were going to have to shave ourselves. The fact remained that neither of the other two knew they were infested. I knew within an hour or two, and stopped the invasion. Our mystery was solved at work when we cried on our boss’ shoulder about our horribly embarrassing weekend……The kicker, only people allergic to louse saliva itch! Thank God for school!! Also lice only attach to certain hair types, African American hair for one strain, Hispanic hair for another, Caucasion…etc…odd truly odd…complicated too!!


Eve said...

hahahaha! Up here lice are popular in schools and most school kids get them at some point. They tell us that lice prefer clean hair because they can't adhere to the grease on dirty hair, so if you're clean, your more likely to get them. My kids all went through the 'lice stage''s effing gross..seeing bugs crawling through your child's hair. It makes you feel like a bad mom, lol! Luckily we don't have the Sycamore strain up here, lol!
I was standing in line at the bank once and I could see the lice crawling through the hair of the woman infront of me! It was disgusting! She was thick with them...I kind of wanted to say something to her, but she probably could she not? It looked like her head was alive! And what do you say to a bug infested stranger? What is the proper etiquette in a situation like that? lol!

I just can't shut up said...

I don't know what louse etiquette is. I might try offering Raid, or asking if they are in a clinical trial to test louse control products, or if they are hosting a louse felt soooo whitetrash