Saturday, August 13, 2011

Complicated Lives....part 15


It seems like every person with a seriously complicated life has some seriously weird diseases going on too. Case in point…mange on kids.

Truly this can happen!! Mange is caused by a type of mite…what your mama told you about lying down with dogs and getting fleas was true…also mites. We had a bunch of people living near us. I was NEVER allowed to play with these children because “they’re dirty white trash!” I felt kind of put off by this because we lived out in the sticks and friends were hard to come by. One day the troupe of white trash children came up with a dog on a rope. The dog looked ok, so I pet it. My Grandma having super human powers of fun ruining detection immediately bellowed for me to “Get in this house now!!!” With sassing and reluctance I complied. I was fully disinfected, yelled at and spanked. I sat around having Barbie and Ken go on vacation to some fabulous faraway place…like New York city, we lived in Florida in the boonies everything was faraway and fabulous. Days passed. I was outside climbing a tree and throwing rocks at friends when I saw the dog…it’s fur was patchy and it had some bloody skin showing..that seemed odd. The dog started to run around in a circle and chew on the bloody skin patches. I stayed hidden in the tree. Mama had warned me all about this thing called hydraphobie (later I learned this way hydrophobia or rabies). I had no idea what hydraphobie looked like but Mama told me you got bellyaches, foamed at the mouth and were afraid of water. I didn’t want to take any chances with that mess!! After the dog passed by the tree…I ran inside screaming “mama, mama thewhitetrashdogsgothydraphobie!!!” She looked out the window and said it’s got mange. Mange?? “Mama what’s mange?” Mama carefully explained “that’s when an animal’s fur falls out and they die” I saw the kids a few days later…again from my tree perch. This time I was doing something equally nefarious such as rubbernecking at the cars going by. I was shielded by the tree leaves..the white trash kids didn’t see me. But I saw them…their heads were shaved, even the girl!! They had these big red patches on their scalps with crusty sores. When they passed by I went sneaking silently into the house and told Mama…what the white trash kids looked like. She opened the curtain to look outside..Mama NEVER rubbernecked…I made the mistake of suggesting once that she did…my spanking was heard round the world. She solemnly proclaimed that the white trash kids had mange. They disappeared a few days later…all of them, even the parents! I later learned they had moved in the dead of the night but I was sure they had all died because….they had mange!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Two thumbs up on this one!