Friday, August 5, 2011

Complicated Lives....part 14

Pigs, peanuts and rain boots

All good redneck children eat peanuts. Boiled of course! But first you have to find peanuts to boil. They must be raw and boiled slow and long over a low flame in water more salty than your Grandma’s denture bath. You also MUST add some spicy stuff to the peanuts…crab boil, cayenne…Uncle Jessie’s socks. Whatever you add should make the house smell lovely for hours. I wasn’t allowed to have boiled peanuts as a child because that was a different type of “from the south” than my Grandma was. We were from KY! We had unsweetened cornbread like normal people (lol).

I must have been about 5. I had these pretty red rain boots. I was still VERY much a Kentucky city girl then; pretty dresses, little outfits, no dirt aside from sandbox sand or dirt in contrived situations. I had no “brogans” as my Grandma called them. Not sure, I guess we have some Irish tucked away too in the mix. When I was asked if I wanted to dig for peanuts with Wilbur on Sunday after church I said yes. My Grandma might not have been so happy. We took rain boots for me to wear digging peanuts. I was excited when I discovered Wilbur was…….a pig!!! Me being a city girl I had to give back the piglet Uncle Love gave me (didn’t make that up it was his middle name)!

I went out with a shovel, Ed, my rain boots and Wilbur. Wilbur was supposed to be great in helping dig peanuts. We were working together when I felt this horrible pain in my foot. I looked down…Wilbur was biting me! I jumped back with my shovel. Apparently Wilbur was supposed to root around for a while and he thought I was doing something wrong..I was unclear on this me being 5 and being assaulted. Then I saw the peanuts, it was my job to get them out with the shovel.

I grabbed a shovel full and……chomp went Wilbur…I held my ground and started to dump them in the barrow. I went to the next plant and then all hell broke loose, Wilbur attacked my boot full on in a shrieking pig fury. Apparently Wilbur is very possessive of his peanuts! Farmer Brown locked Wilbur in his pen with some peanuts…what a happy piggy!

We took the rest of the washed off peanuts inside to Mrs. Farmer Brown. I was anticipating some lovely roasted peanuts. My Grandma and I were totally confused when she set them on to boil. We saw other pots of boiling things but nothing smelled overly food like. My Grandma asked what she was doing. The look on her face was a mixture of merriment, and shock when she found out we had never heard of boiled peanuts!! She happily gave us some that were done…they were horrible!

I never touched them again until I was mid 20’s..I LOVED them!!! I have absolutely no idea what she did to hers but they had no flavor at all…the good ones rocked!

I now live up north and when I find raw peanuts I get my boil on and I must say…I boil a fine peanut!!


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