Mimi and Tori
It was about 120 degrees on a lovely breezy June afternoon in Florida in 1994. Tori was marrying her lifelong love Miles, in an outdoor ceremony to be celebrated by a barbeque reception. The bride was aglow with sweat, no deodorant and no undies because she had sweat through them and her maid of honor Mimi had failed to bring anything except her own make up, hair pic for her new afro and enough cigarettes for Mimi and Tori to smoke well into the night. The blushing brides mama had made the potato salad for the cookout. Tori’s friend made the roadkill groom cake and Tori and Mimi had gotten drunk the night before and made the wedding cake which looked like the Alamo. All during the service conducted by a notary dressed like a klansman children were leaping into the nearby lake screaming. The Bride’s Mom was trying to keep everyone from having fun, the groom’s Mom was giving the happy couple African American Precious Moments dolls (the couple and everyone at the wedding were and still are white-ish)
After the wedding the bridal party went to the best man’s house to get drunk and finish the reception with the opening of redneck gifts…water guns, a food dehydrator and wedding teddy bears! The bride had a good friend help give her away as well as her Mom. The bride’s Mom was not happy about this and started to demand that everyone go back to their houses and behave. So we all split and went home. Bride’s Mom got the wedding bed, groom got the floor, guy giving bride away got the sofa….Mimi and Tori took champagne, rum, cigarettes and a lemon candle to the front seat of the 1982 LTD.
Mimi and Tori got hammered! They were giggling like idiots and dodging the flying palmetto bugs. They sat in the front seat all night long pouring candle wax down the side of the LTD to keep the candle burning. They thought they had cleared the door. They polished off the full bottle of rum straight then popped the hot champage…the cork hit the side of the trailer after which they both yelled “SHHHH” At 6am Tori stumbled inside, stepping on the groom to make coffee and whisper loudly in his ear…”I THINK MIMI IS DEAD!! DON’T WORRY I’M MAKING COFFEE! I LOVE YOU CAN YOU SEE IF MY SISTER IS DEAD???” Mimi wasn’t dead. She was however throwing up profusely. Mimi looked at Tori and said “I love you Aunt Leah!!”, then threw up again.
Ahhhh what a wedding night that was.