Tuesday, July 14, 2015

It made sense at the time......

We have the worst luck when it comes to repairing housey things.  Not meaning "we" as in my husband or me, being fairly sane we'd like our home to remain standing, so we don't actually repair anything.  Changing a light bulb is challenging enough, plugging something in usually goes well also.  We're in the clear for putting up Christmas things as long as we have cup hooks, thumb tacks, command adhesive, tape and superglue.  We also need twine to tie the Christmas tree to the wall so our 13 year old Siamese doesn't knock it down in the yearly  "climb the tree to conquer the festive shiny ball"  ritual.  He has also been known to enter the twine chewing competition.  I digress...

It made sense at the time to get new shingles, the others did look like crap.  They have been trying to sell us a new roof since we moved in.  "shingles are only meant to last 20 years you know".  "really?. That's odd....this house was only built in 2005"  That response of mine has been met with blank stares since we moved in in 2008.  It's true, the shingles were a shambles and have been for years.  We bit the bullet and decided it was time to really invest in our house, thus we were lured in by a promising guarantee, bonded and licensed roofers and the assurance of a solid set of shingles to see us through the next 50 years.  We scheduled the roofing for the next available date, about 2 weeks out.

Recently we had some carpet laid.  That install went into the category of comically late.  A few years ago we had a redundant (literally 10 feet separated the sliding glass door wall and the kitchen sliding glass door, same wall) sliding glass door wall replaced with a window from Majic, they can do majic in making your money and sanity disappear.  I can't complain about the quality of the window at all.  It's great really.  I don't work for the company, are you kidding, I'm a barely passable housewife...work...hahaha.  All kidding aside about them.  They did show up on time, they did a good, clean install, the window was pricey, but worth it.  The lost sanity and lost money came from us...yes us, husband and wife, of the un-handy family, having to finish and paint the drywall under the window, and pain the siding outside under the window to match the house.  The house has an attractive white panel under the window on our otherwise blue and brick house.  I told you we were bad at home repairs.  The few home repairs we've done started with the window, next came the carpet with the epic delay.  Today......the roof.

My loving yet unhandy husband sent me a text late last week announcing the impending roofing on Monday morning.  Friday I heard hammering on the roof.  Convinced the zombie apocalypse was upon us and they were entering via the roof I hid behind the sofa waiting for it to stop.  I then mustered up the courage to go upstairs and investigate by staring out my son's window.  They were dropping off supplies in the yard for the looming roofing.  I felt relief wash over me!  I have nowhere near enough food stockpiled for the zombie apocalypse.  It rained over the weekend, the 3 sheets of particleboard or presswood, whatever handy people call it, were left lying on the grass.  This little bit of Murphy's Law did not bode well.

Yesterday the roofers were supposed to arrive at 8:30 am.  Surprisingly 8:30 comes twice in one day in the summer too.  I thought this might be the case, but was unsure.  I've been a stay at home mom so long I thought maybe that rule, policy or basic tenet might have changed too.  I set the alarm for 8:00 am, planning to have a cup of coffee, brush my teeth and take off the crazy house night gown,  (I have a nightgown I love which strongly resembles something an inmate at a mental facility would wear.  The blood stains on the shoulder result from a nasty miscommunication between my shoulder, Kung Pao and the window) and change into something more appropriate to greet humans in.  I was milling about preparing to take apart a sink, literally, when the phone rang with a particularly mocking nasty ring at 8:44am.  I perked up trying to sound chipper.  In my heart I knew what that little ugly ring meant.  That mocking ring, meant they weren't coming or were going to be 10 hours late.  The lady politely informed me that they would have to reschedule the install due to the predicted thunderstorms in the area.  That was a really reasonable excuse, aside from the fact that it was sunny in my town and there was no predicted thunderstorm until late that night.  Storms were, however, predicted in the area where the office is located, in another county about an hour away from me. They weren't to be roofing the office so I thought it might have been poor planning on the scheduler's part to not check the weather in the actual install area.  The nice lady told me they would be out today (Tuesday 7/14/15) unless rain was predicted.  I lamely said "Ok", knowing fully well that rain was predicted for Tuesday after I checked my handy weather app.  I busied myself with the sink project, pvc pipe is just easier to take apart and scrub to remove gunk than it is to use liquid plumber.  Sink went well, and I remembered to use all the parts and put them in pretty much the right places.  It doesn't link and it does drain.  The little stopper doohickey even works too!

I didn't bother setting an alarm this morning, didn't give a shit about coffee, the crazy house gown, or brushed hair.  I felt like I'd been put through a grinder, so I knew weather was approaching.  (not old, just slightly dented) For some reason known only to God (who I am now convinced only wants us to do home repairs when he's having a rough day in heaven so he gets a good laugh looking in on us) I woke up just before 8:00 am.  I roamed around downstairs, made sure the sink wasn't leaking yet, got coffee, looked out at the birds building a nest on my porch, then stopped dead in my tracks as a cold finger ran down my spine.  A van was pulling up to the house near one already out front.  I went upstairs to get dressed and glance again at the weather app, it still predicted heavy showers.  I got dressed then went to stare suspiciously out my window, wondering if Mormons had upgraded to vans, or if the Jehovah's Witnesses would be getting into a row on my front yard (we have a yard, not a lawn...something is terribly wrong with people who have no weeds).  To my horror, I discovered, roofing was about to happen.  The project started well before 8:30am.  About 9 or so the foreman introduced himself and told me they'd be done by early afternoon, providing the rain held out, otherwise they'd have to come back tomorrow.  I looked at him, looked at the sky and said lamely "Ok".  A few hours later the first wave of rain hit.  They continued roofing.  There was more rain and more roofing.  I ventured a glance out my son's window and saw the bare wood on our roof, along with the areas being covered.  About an hour after that THE RAIN came.  I watched a torrent of it pour off a hastily draped tarp along the roof valley, hopefully shielding the bare wood. All the roofers hid on the front porch out of the rain.  The rain stopped, roofing resumed.

I checked roofing sites off and on all day regarding the advisability of roofing in the rain.  It seemed a tossup.  We do have the parts and labor warranty.  We figure if the roof has some catastrophic failure or we develop leaks we can call them on it.  I plan to let the company know tomorrow the conditions under which the roofing was laid down so that's in our file.  I also took photos of the work and the sky.

Roofing has now officially stopped a mere 13 and a half hours after it started.  Early afternoon my behind.  If any work is being done on our house, no matter how long the job is supposed to take, it will take twice as long and have snafu's.  Tomorrow I will check on the lavender, the roses, the coneflowers and the Arizona suns...the only yardy things we care about were probably stomped upon during roofing.


Robert Veendy said...

Hm, I already typed this comment, but here I am typing it again. Lav, you're a trip. Thanks for showing me I'm not the only one. I miss seeing you on the other site, the one I'm not on anymore. vezenro1

RJ Veendy said...

I forgot to mention this last time, I don't know why anybody would clean PVC pile, but I am impressed that you would and you could and it doesn't leak.

I just can't shut up said...

Vez....the reason is cloning hairballs. I am terrified that the aliens will enter my home then immediately find the bathroom sinks to rip them apart and gather as much hair, slime and goo as is possible then create what they consider the human race to be...some giant smelly sludgeball held together with long ropes of hair and soap scum. Either that or the genome police will come to confiscate our hairy, soapy, slimy and totally disgusting leavings. Drain monsters are also a possibility I'd like to avoid.

Seriously though, it's easier to just unscrew the water pipes to the sink and rinse them out in another sink after depositing the yuck in the trash. Drain cleaners never seem to work as well as they should and they leave the bathroom smelling vile.

Glad to see you around btw.

RJ Veendy said...

Let me start out by being the Vez you know from you're banned, and say, it's about time you got here. I'm banning you from your own blog for not blogging fast enough.
Now let me say, You really should consider being a Sci-fy writer.
I get you, but for this quad, I pretend everything goes happily into never-never-land. There's no chance anything people flush, shower or pour down the pipe can come back up the other pipe into my glass of water. It all goes into one giant pipe where it is sent to the lava core of the earth for incineration.
Peace be with you.