“Bloom where you’re
planted” (is a distillation
of )1 Corinthians 7:7-24. A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold
in settings of silver, Proverbs 25:11
NIV
I have my own views on religion, but those verses have
always had very special meaning for me religion aside.
In our lives we are born into a family. Some people spend their lives living with or
near a small family or a large extended family.
Some people retain strong connections with their families despite them
being scattered about the globe, while others have loose connections or no
connection. Other people are abandoned
and raised by an adoptive family. Some
never have any sort of family dynamic we can comprehend, like street people but
they have their family nonetheless.
The family dynamic I am pondering is the created family. I’ve gathered a family much as you would
gather wild flowers. They are a beautiful arrangement in a favorite vase,
proudly displayed. Hopefully you also
have a family like this; if not…you are woefully missing out! I have a fine family. We (husband and son aside) are scattered
about, but do try to keep in touch.
There is nothing wrong with my Husband, Son, Sister, Mom, Uncles, Aunts,
cousins…etc; but they aren’t my only family.
I started creating my own familial reality in elementary
school when I proclaimed someone to be my long lost sister. Over the years I’ve collected many wild
sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts….etc. I
have a brother, a few cousins, a sister or two and surrogates for mom, uncles,
aunts and grandparents. I also have the
family I’ve created with my husband son and cat. The bonds I’ve formed with my gathered family
mean a lot to me. They have at times
been my only tether to sanity. They
understand different facets of my life and have been there for me throughout
various stages of my growth or regression.
I do love my natural family very much, but sometimes my
family doesn’t always connect with me on the level a cobbled together family
can. I know my family has their core
group of pseudo family also, so I won’t feel totally terrible if they read
this. They should know exactly what I
mean. I spend hours chatting with my
brother/cousin (whatever) His place in my heart goes deeper than “just a
friend”. One of my sisters is around 10
years older. My surrogate Mom never had
any children, so I fill a need for her too.
I have others sisters and cousins all united for different reasons. I truly love these people and if I were to
lose them I would be devastated but eventually cope. The void of their loss would be huge; their
places could never truly be filled just like a natural family member passing
away or becoming estranged. The family I’ve
created is as real to me as my own natural family.
In my cobbled together family we have each other’s backs, we
defend one another, we support one another, we virtually hug each other. When one of us is hurting we ache for them
and do our best to support each other with comedy, prayers, sunny-funny
stories, bad songs, dirty jokes, tears and hugs to the best of our
ability. My created family is also
friends with my son and husband.
Transparency is important to me and I want them to know about my
immediate family since they are now members of my family.
This brings me to why I started out my entry with a bible
quote and a distillation of several verses.
We grow where we are planted. Our
roots reach down and find purchase in the soil.
Sometimes our seed gets carried far away from the garden of our natural
family. When and where we land we reach out to find the plants nearest us in
type or perhaps very opposite our type, we see eye to eye on some key points, those
points bring them into our garden. Perhaps
my little seed is incorporated into their garden. Some of my burgeoning family members are
really not who you’d ever suspect I would have a thing in common with…but I
still love those ornery uncles, the very liberal uncles, the wild and free
sisters, the shy yet strong sisters, the strong intelligent brothers. When things get low, and there are times that
things do get low emotionally (son is 13 need I say more!), my wildflower family knows what I need to hear, not
what I want to hear. We are honest with
each other and we help each other. We give good and bad advice. We
don’t all see eye to eye on our decisions.
If my opinion is asked I will chime in as a good family member should,
but I’m not offended if they don’t take my advice. My apples may not be what they need right
then, but maybe they will need them later.
I hope this post makes sense…it’s a thank you to all my
extended family…my family in many nations, my family I may never meet, my
family who lifts me up when I am down…..my wonderful garden of family
Thank you all my lovely flowers!!
xoxoxoxo
