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Saturday, July 23, 2011

Complicated Lives....part 10

Can’t ya just?

Let us revisit Scooter and his woes. Since his wife died Scooter has gone well and truly off the deep-end. If you haven’t gotten up to speed on scooter please view complicated lives part 2. Scooter called me to ask how to check email. I patiently (for the first hour) explain how to sign in to email and check messages. Then the real fun starts…

S-can’t ya just sign in and do it for me?

Me- No, Scooter, you need to learn to do this.

S-“But it’s too hard

M- just listen to me…

S- hey this thing just said I won a free computer!

M-DO NOT click on the flashing signs you have not won anything

S-But it says I won a free computer! Shouldn’t I at least check it out?

M- NO! It’s a scam!

S-but why would they waste the time sending me a message?

M-It’s to trick you

S- but it says I won

M-NO! Stop…just go to the envelope on your desk top

S-I don’t have any envelopes do I need them for email

M-oh for the love of…No On your computer

S-well how do I find that?

M-just close the webpage with the flashing thing and you will see your desktop

S-but won’t I lose the free computer then?

M-Ok just give me the password and sign in for your email…I will check it for you

S-can you do that?

M-yes.

S-Oh this wants me to take a survey

M-you clicked the flashing thing didn’t you?

S-now it says I have a virus

M-just turn off the computer…I’ll read your email to you

That was about 10 years ago, since then Scooter has lost one computer mailing it to a stranger because “this stupid fool is going to give me hundreds of dollars of software for free if I just mail him my computer! What an idiot!!” Guess who never got his computer back? He lost a second computer because he gave it to “some stupid A—hole who is going to add memory to it for nothing I just had to buy the memory cards” Guess who never saw that computer again? Scooter lost a third computer and a net book because he traded them to a drug dealer for his live in hooker to get oxy. I am pretty thankful that I no longer hear “can’t ya just??” in relation to computer issues…

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